I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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