I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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