he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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