i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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