I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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