is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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