He kissed a someone with a penis
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize