So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
