D3 body, D1 cock
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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