Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
