should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize