I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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