Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
