I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
