you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
