Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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