Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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