my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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