I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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