I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
