My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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