I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
