i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
