JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
