Can i not drive my cunt home
Nicole vs. Life
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
