he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
