I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize