he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
