I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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