One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
