He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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