a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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