I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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