I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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