I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
sarcasm needs its own font
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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