Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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