I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
