It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize