My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
