Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
