i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
