plz talk dirty to me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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