remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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