based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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