well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
