just tell him i said nine months
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
