So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize