So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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