His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I love you. Go after that dick
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
