I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
