if i can run in heels then i can drive
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
