I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
