i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize