help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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