a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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