YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
