now i know why i became what i already was.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
