I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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