Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
