can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
