How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
