NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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