why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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