woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
