it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
