I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
