cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
