it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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