I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
