so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize