if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
