Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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