Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
