problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
