so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
