i think i have herpe
just one?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
