it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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